Hanging On

When I was a kid I would constantly have this dream of me in a business suit running down a tunnel to make the train. Every time I would get there, the train would be speeding away and I would miss it and then wake up. For years I would always have that dream and never knew what it meant. As I got older, my life started changing. I felt as if I had no control over my life. During that entire time, the dream never came back. I started to wonder if it had something to do all of this. Was the dream a sign of my future? So I thought about it every night until I came up with the conclusion that the train represented my life passing me by. Me rushing down the tunnel to try and reach it would represent my desire to change my life. The train station would always be empty. Not a single person was there. After I stopped having the dreams and my life changed, I knew it was for the best. When I did change it, everything started going my way and I was happy.

When I last posted before I left, I had a broken leg because I hurt it really bad while surfing. I was out for weeks. I had the same routine every day. Get up early and surf and then work and come back home and surf some more or hang out with friends. My life is the water and just being away just brought me down more and more until I just didn't feel like going anywhere. My dream came back. Life has a funny way of telling you something. My life was perfect. I wouldn't change a thing, but when something in my life changed, everything changed for me. My life being perfect was what worried me. Being home for long periods of time just made me think too much. There is no such thing as a life this good, a lifqual. Can somebody have a truly happy life? I did. I would love to cheer up a total stranger if I saw them sad. That's just me. I can't stand seeing unhappiness. I will do my best to make you happy. Even if it sacrifices some of my happiness. That's why so many people were worried about me when I just didn't have anymore happiness to give. I had my own demons to put to rest again. Time away helped me a lot. Without it, I would've ended up isolating myself from the world which is not me. Being around people is what I am, it's what I do.

I have a girl that is a friend now. She surfs and likes everything about me and what I do. We are going to the beach tonight with some friends to light a fire and just have fun, because that's just what I do.

Have a lifqual day everybody.